When Can I Give My Baby A Time-out?
“At 18 months most children have the ability to understand that with a time-out you’re removing them from a particular situation,” says Howard Reinstein, a pediatrician in Encino, California and a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). But that doesn’t mean it’s an effective discipline technique. Reinstein worries that the original concept of “time out” has been lost, and that parents and caregivers overuse it, especially for children under 3. “Originally a time-out simply meant not responding to a child’s negative behavior,” says Reinstein. Now it usually involves making the child sit alone in his room or a certain chair for a prescribed amount of time (often one minute for each year of age). But, says Reinstein, “there’s no evidence that using the one-minute per year marker works, or that time-outs themselves work, so I would caution parents to use this method of discipline sparingly.”
Remember that toddlers are most likely to act out when they’re tired, hungry, or sick, so if you’re tuned in to your child’s moods — and don’t try to grocery shop when it’s nap time, for instance — you may be able to reserve time-outs for situations where your child is endangering himself.
Once your child is around 3 years old, time-outs become more effective. Preschoolers are better able to understand when they’ve done something wrong and that time-outs are a form of punishment. Here’s how the AAP recommends handling a time-out for 3- and 4-year-olds
• Define the behavior you want to stop. Use the time-out when your child is intentionally doing something that you have forbidden.
• Warn your child that if she continues doing what you have asked her not to do, she will be have a time-out.
• Choose a time-out area, ideally a place where there are no toys or distractions.
• When your child engages in the forbidden behavior again, send her immediately to the designated spot for a specified amount of time (say, five minutes). Place a timer or clock nearby so she can watch the time.
• If she screams or cries, reset the timer.
• Be consistent in enforcing the time-out. But when your child observes your rule, praise her for behaving.
Remember that a time-out means simply that you’re removing your child from a situation that is either dangerous for her or frustrating for you. The AAP recommends “brief isolation,” e.g. one or two minutes, during which your child does not have access to toys or your attention.
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